I was home alone watching tv, and wanking myself to internet porn. Word had gotten back to my GF, that three weeks earlier, I had fucked a girl from m... work. No sex in three weeks. To make matters worse, she had gone out drinking with her co-workers the past two friday nights. Both times she had gotten home about 10pm. Last friday was different. I went to bed, drunk about 1am, and no sign of her. Just after 3, I awoke to a loud knock at the door. Lucy was home. I went downstairs to let her in,. Standing on an Ikea podium from Sweden, behind bullet proof Saint Gobain Glass from France, smiling at a 4K Sony Japanese Video camera, speaking into a Dolby Sennheiser German microphone, with vigorous hand gestures giving a glimpse of a Rolex under the cuff made in Switzerland, he patriotically said “Buy American, Hire American, Stop Immigrants”. While standing beside a Slovenian wife.A school teacher asks her class “What vegetable makes your eyes water?” Little Johnny replies “An eggplant”.. More

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